Starved for Content
by Joseph Garrett
“Can I have your name, please?” The sleepy-eyed doorman asked Sonia when she finally reached the front of the check-in line.
“I’m Sonia. Sonia Callo,” she said while adjusting the camera strap wrapped around her head. Sonia was making sure her camera was facing the right way, a habit she developed after accidentally filming the top of her head for the majority of last year’s Geek Con.
The man pursed his lips as he swiped away on his tablet, searching for her name. “Hmm, don’t see any Sonias on the list.”
Alerted by the doorman’s voice, the security drones that flitted back and forth above the check-in line now circled over Sonia’s head like birds of prey.
“What about Boss Girl Beauty?” Sonia asked, trying to remain calm. She received an invite. She announced on all her socials that she was attending the Better You Conference. Her name had to be on the list.
The man tapped the tablet screen. “Ah! There you are.” He stepped aside and handed Sonia a purple wristband. “Welcome to BYC 2035.”
With the incident settled, the drones resumed their normal patrol. Sonia thanked the doorman and walked into the convention centre. The moment she was inside, Sonia pulled out her phone and checked the chat messages on her stream.
DevilishMous3: LOL! No invite.
CaliKing: Shut up. She got in!
CherryS0da: Feet cam when?
Sonia rolled her eyes at the typical, inane conversation. “Are you behaving, chat? I won’t be checking on you as much now that we’re inside, so be kind to one another and enjoy the stream. I’m going to try and see as much of the conference as I can before Craig Whitmeyer’s panel.”
Craig Whitmeyer was the CEO of Better You, the beauty and wellness brand that essentially conquered the internet. The company became a household name thanks to its memeable slogan, ‘Look Better, Feel Better, Taste Better.’
Since its inception, Better You has partnered with influencers across all social media platforms. They had fitness instructors peddling workout gear, beauticians reviewing skincare products, and they recently unveiled a comprehensive diet and nutrition program called All Better, which led to a rise in cooking videos and variety streams.
Sonia became a Better You partner six months ago, when her Halloween makeup tutorial went mega viral. In the three years since completing her Streamer Economics degree, and launching her Boss Girl Beauty channel, Sonia built a good following for herself, but after partnering with Better You, her views and subscriber count both shot into the millions.
This recent success culminated in Sonia receiving an invite to BYC, the biggest influencer event of the year. Only the hottest and most popular Better You partners were invited to the annual conference, held on Craig Whitmeyer’s private island off the coast of Argentina.
Sonia walked through the event hall, recognizing every guest she passed by. The venue was bigger than an Amazon warehouse, and everything inside catered to its influencer audience. One particular corner, featuring a photo booth where guests could take pictures with several exotic and endangered animals, caught Sonia’s eye.
“I wonder if I can get a photo with a panda. Wouldn’t that be awesome, chat?” Sonia exclaimed, appealing to her invisible audience of mostly girls and dank basement creeps.
“It’s not just birds and mammals, they’ve got fish too.” A husky voice suddenly interjected from behind Sonia. “I’m going to get a photo of me riding a tiger shark.”
Sonia spun around to find a round burly man devouring a poutine. A phone was strapped to his thick wrist. He was recording, just like everyone else at the conference.
Sonia greeted him eagerly. “Phatboi! Chat, say hi to Phatboi!”
Phatboi was, in more ways than one, the biggest food vlogger and cooking influencer on the planet. Sonia first met Phatboi a few months ago, when they did a video collab where they both tried different lip glosses and ranked them based on their taste. The video was a huge hit, mostly because Phatboi convinced her that they should actually eat the lip glosses instead of simply tasting them.
“Have you tried the food?” Phatboi asked as he shovelled more fries into his mouth. “They’ve got every kind of cuisine here. My goal is to eat everything on the menu. It’s going to be the muckbang to end all muckbangs.”
Sonia leaned forward so the camera on her head pointed directly at the poutine. “I haven’t had a chance to eat anything yet. Is it good? It looks yummy.”
“It’s stupid good. Fries, cheese, gravy, and meat. You can’t go wrong with any of that. Also, the meat they have here is out of this world,” Phatboi said, waving his fork around.
“What kind of meat is it? Beef? Pork?” Sonia asked, her mouth watering.
Phatboi snorted. “Pfft, I have no idea. All I know is that it is the best meat I’ve ever eaten. It’s the new All Better meat the company is promoting. It’s supposed to be more protein and less calories per gram than any meat you’d find at the grocery store.”
Sonia grinned. “Careful. You’re starting to sound like a fit-fluencer, talking about nutrition like that.” She quickly checked her chat before looking back up at Phatboi. “My chat is dying to know why you want to ride a tiger shark.”
“Because they’re cool. They eat everything. They even eat other sharks. Isn’t that wild?”
“Eww!” Sonia grimaced. “I think I’ll stick with my panda photo idea. I’ll catch you later, Phatboi!”
Sonia wandered through the crowded venue, passing by the ASMR section, where KittyPrime, a Swedish streamer, was tapping her fake nails on a steel drum and whispering, ‘Daddy,’ over and over. Sonia then breezed through the surprisingly quiet health and wellness area, eventually reaching the beauty section. Her jaw dropped when she saw all of the debut products she needed to try.
Sonia joined Jess, one half of the family vlog duo Jess&Tom, in sampling Better You’s new face cream. Jess made a point of using her left hand, which was noticeably ringless, to apply the cream.
“I knew about the one girl, but I’ve gotten a bunch of DMs from other girls who also claim they slept with Tom.” Jess said bitterly. “I can’t wait to put him on blast again. Ruining his life is the only reason I post anymore.”
As Sonia rubbed in the face cream, she made a mental note to do a reaction video whenever Jess dropped her next divorce vlog.
Sonia enjoyed the cream’s subtle strawberry scent, noting that it was much less greasy than the old formula. She grabbed a jar and held it in front of her camera. She checked the chat to make sure her viewers were able to see it properly.
PiggyWiggy: Lol!
SailorScout: ???
MoonBlossom: LMAO!
Confused by the responses, Sonia examined the jar. She burst out laughing when she noticed the label read, ‘Made with real faces.’
“That’s hilarious. Nice catch, chat!” Sonia cheered. “What does that even mean?”
Jess nudged Sonia’s arm, gesturing for her to mute her microphone. “Hey. Did you hear about Julia?” Jess asked quietly.
She was talking about personal trainer, and fitness influencer, Julia Tran. Julia posted a video a month ago where she ranted about her rapid weight gain, blaming the All Better food that was being sent to her every week. The video was up for less than an hour before it was taken down. Julia’s socials have been radio silent ever since. Some influencers reached out to her directly to see if she was okay, but their messages were left unread.
Sonia turned back toward the health and wellness area. “Now that you mention it, I actually haven’t seen any of the fitness faces around. Did they boycott the event because of the take down?”
“I doubt it. They all posted updates about coming to BYC,” Jess said with a shrug.
A handsome middle-aged man, with an immaculately chiseled jawline, approached the two women. “The fitness partners came earlier this week,” he said, “Julia too. They all participated in the All Better program, so we wanted to see the results of their diet. Boy, did they turn out well. Triple A quality for sure.”
The plastic jar of face cream slipped out of Sonia’s hand, landing with a heavy thud on the floor, when she realized the man in front of her wasn’t some ordinary zaddy. “Holy flip! You’re him. You’re Craig Whitmeyer!”
The Better You CEO smirked. “And you are Boss Girl Beauty.”
Sonia’s eyes widened. “You know who I am?”
“I’m familiar with all of our partners.” Craig turned to Jess. “By the way, Jess, I’m sorry to hear about you and Tom. I must say, though, it has made for your best content in years.”
Jess’ mouth twitched, stuck somewhere between a smile and a frown. She mumbled something then hurried away.
“Odd one, isn’t she?” Craig remarked before pointing at Sonia’s camera. “Are you streaming right now, Boss Girl?”
“I am!” Sonia replied, remembering to turn her microphone back on.
“Excellent! How about I take you on a personal tour around the conference?”
Sonia squealed with delight. “That would be amazing!”
Craig beckoned Sonia to follow him. He explained the purpose of every booth they passed until they reached the food hall. He put his hand on the small of Sonia’s back and said, “Here, let’s eat. What are you in the mood for? Mexican? Chinese? Portuguese fusion?”
Sonia scanned the endless buffet of stalls. She saw Phatboi demolishing a jumbo-sized hotdog in front of an ASMR microphone. He really was on a mission to eat everything at the conference. He wasn’t the only one either. All of the muckbangers were busy crunching, munching, and gorging on the various cuisines.
In defence of their gluttony, the food did look spectacular. The tacos were stuffed to the point that their shells were breaking, and the spaghetti bolognese looked like something served at a Michelin star restaurant.
Sonia put a finger to her chin. “What would you recommend?”
“It’s all delicious, Boss Girl, trust me,” Craig assured her. Sonia began to wonder if he knew her real name or not.
“Is there anything without meat?” She asked. “I don’t want to eat anything too heavy right now.”
Craig’s brow furrowed. “Do you not eat meat?”
“I do! I’ll eat almost anything,” Sonia answered quickly, hoping she didn’t just offend the world’s richest man.
Craig raised an eyebrow. “Almost anything?”
Sonia put a hand to her chest. “Well, I like to know what I’m putting into my body, so I try to avoid processed foods as much as possible. I definitely eat meat, though.”
The corners of Craig’s mouth turned upward. “In that case, how about a burger? I guarantee that our All Better meat is free of hormones, additives, and preservatives.”
“You know what? A burger sounds perfect, actually!” Sonia said, forcing a smile.
Craig took Sonia to the Americana kiosk. She looked at the menu, unable to decide whether she wanted the Fat2Fit burger, the Bodies by Bob burger, or the Julia Tran burger.
“What’s with the names?” Sonia wondered.
“Every meal is named after the Better You partner that helped create each divine dish.” Craig replied before addressing the young woman working behind the counter. “We’ll have two Bodies by Bob,” he called out, deciding Sonia’s order for her.
The clerk punched the order into the register. “Oh, I’m so sorry. We’re actually out of Bob.” She said before pointing at Phatboi, who now had his face buried in a bowl of ramen. “That man ate the last one.”
Craig snapped his fingers. “Damn, Bob looked quite tasty too. I suppose we’ll have two Julias then.”
The clerk put in the order. “Will that be all, Mr. Whitmeyer?”
Craig rapped his knuckles on the counter. “And a couple of lemonades. Thank you.”
“Great! Feel free to sit at any of the open tables and we’ll bring your order to you as soon as it is ready.”
Craig escorted Sonia to a free table. She took the opportunity to remove her camera and microphone, her neck and shoulders appreciating the reprieve from balancing that contraption on her head. She positioned the camera so that the lens was facing her, then connected it to the table’s ASMR microphone so her viewers could hear her and Craig better.
“You really went the extra mile with this stuff. You thought of everything,” Sonia said, nodding toward the streamer friendly set-ups.
Craig grinned. “Well, we want to outdo ourselves each year. Our foodies and ASMR creators have seen tremendous growth in the past year, so if that is the kind of content people want to see most, then we are going to give it to them.” He let out a contented sigh. “Isn’t society filled with wonderful sickos?”
Sonia arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“The content we consume is designed to fill some kind of base desire. That’s why we watch petite women consume every fast food item ever made, or listen to people whisper nonsense in our ear so we can get a strange tingle on the back of our neck.” Craig's expression darkened. “Then there are those physical Adonises.”
“You mean the fitness influencers?”
Craig took a deep breath before continuing his rant, his nose wrinkling in contempt. “Yes, them. The total narcissists of the internet. The ones who act like they found the secret to a longer and more fulfilling life thanks to a new exercise that works out both your core and your glutes.”
Sonia shot an awkward glance toward her camera. “I didn’t know you hated them so much.”
Craig leaned over the table. “Humans don’t want to do things. We want to consume. It makes us feel good. That’s why we are content with scrolling endlessly on our devices. We want to engage our senses and be stimulated without having to lift a finger.”
Sonia put her phone on the table so she could see what her chat was saying as she listened to Craig.
GreenGiant12: Yo, Craig going in!
Firefirefire: He’s right! Screw those guys.
DevilishMous3: They’re the reason I hate myself!
The Better You CEO was growing more animated as he spoke. “The more we consume, the better we feel. We don’t need these health nuts and gym rats telling us what to do or how we should live. Most people don’t have time to workout or prepare nutritious meals. These content creators flaunt their perfect bodies around, making everyone else feel bad, and that does not align with Better You’s vision. That is why we are in the process of terminating all of our fitness influencer partnerships.”
Sonia let out a small gasp. “Wow, if this is how you feel about fitness influencers, I’m scared to know what you really think about beauty influencers,” she joked nervously.
Craig let out a hearty laugh. “No, no. What you do is incredible. You show people how to be beautiful without any effort. Just apply the right products and voila! It’s exquisite. That is exactly what Better You is about. That’s why I’ve put your name forward to be one of our next ambassadors.”
Sonia’s heart skipped a beat. Becoming a Better You Ambassador was like winning the lottery. The exclusive title, given only to the company’s top partners, meant way more connections, way more sponsors, and way more views.
Sonia thought about all the time and effort she put into her work over the past three years. She endured the hateful comments and the stalkers. She got a nose job, publicly humiliated herself countless times, and even let her viewers watch her sleep on stream, all for the sake of growing her channel.
Before Sonia could gush about what it would mean for her to be named an ambassador, the Americana clerk brought over the burgers and drinks, setting them down on the table. The Julia Tran burger looked delicious. It was a thick juicy patty with melted cheddar cheese dripping down its sides, topped with fresh lettuce, onion, and tomato, all somehow contained within a pretzel bun.
Craig picked up his burger and immediately took a bite.
Sonia thought of the burger’s namesake as she admired her meal. “Craig, can I ask you something?”
Craig gave a warm smile, his mouth full of food. “Of course.”
“Do the fit-fluencers know that they’re being dropped? I’m thinking about how this will impact them and-”
Sonia stopped herself. Craig was looking directly into her eyes, studying her as he slowly chewed his food. Sonia shifted anxiously in her seat, afraid that her question may have upset him.
The Better You CEO set down his already half-finished burger and took a long sip of lemonade. “You see, Boss Girl, this is what makes you so special. I’ve watched your videos and read the comments. People are drawn to you. They respond to you. You have broad appeal, and that is because you think about everyone, no matter who they are. You are like me, you understand that every person has value. That’s why I think you would make such an excellent Better You Ambassador.”
“You really think we’re alike?” Sonia asked.
Craig banged his hand on the table. “I do. That’s why I’m going to tell you something. It's actually something I will be announcing later today as part of my panel, but I want to set your mind at ease.” He looked around before leaning closer to Sonia, lowering his voice like a child about to reveal a dirty secret. “Don’t worry about the fitness influencers. They still serve an important role within Better You. Consider our company slogan, ‘Look Better, Feel Better, Taste Better.’ They fulfill the last piece of that mantra.”
Sonia raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
Craig picked up his burger and held it out as if it was some kind of prize. “It’s thanks to their participation in the All Better program that we were able to create this.”
Sonia looked down at her food. “Wait… you’re not saying you used… them… to create this…”
Craig licked the grease off his fingers. “Natural oils and meats that are more rich than any other plant or animal on Earth. We’ve taken excellent care when processing each individual and we’ve made sure to use every part of them in our products. Nothing has gone to waste. Believe me, Boss Girl, when All Better officially launches, it will be great for the environment and will help us end world hunger.”
Sonia peered down at her Julia Tran burger. It did not look nearly as appetizing as it did a second ago. She winced when looked across the food hall and saw Phatboi stuff a grilled kebab into his face.
Sonia nudged the plate away from herself.
Craig frowned. “What’s wrong, Boss Girl? You don’t like the burger? I thought you’d appreciate that we use only natural ingredients in our food.”
Panic immediately washed over Sonia. She struggled to comprehend what was natural about this burger. It would be wrong to eat it.
“No! It’s not that, it’s just… I need to take a picture. Post it online.”
Sonia scrambled to grab her phone. She took her time staging the photos, drawing it out as long as she could.
“That should be enough, don’t you think?” Craig remarked impatiently.
Now Sonia definitely was offending him, the man who had the power to change her entire life. She could feel her chances of becoming an ambassador slipping away.
Unable to delay anymore, Sonia set her phone back down. She turned her head toward the camera, giving her viewers an imploring look. What would her viewers think if she actually ate the burger? Would she be judged? Or worse, cancelled?
Sonia gazed at her chat. The viewers were going wild after hearing Craig’s All Better plan. She scanned through the messages, hoping to find an answer for what she should do.
CaliKing: Eat it!
EvenSteven: This is so scripted, but I love it!
DevilishMous3: What do you think it tastes like?
SonicTheEdgeLord: I’ll donate my next paycheque if you eat the whole thing.
CherryS0da: Pour one out for Julia. Too tasty for her own good.
PiggyWiggy: Do it! Take a bite!
Sonia picked up the burger with both hands. She steeled herself as she pressed the burger against her lips. She parted them, taking a tiny bite. The taste did not repulse her. She swallowed hard and exhaled slowly. She stared at the camera and smiled.
“You know, Craig, I’d do anything to be the next Better You Ambassador,” Sonia proclaimed before taking another bite.